The Hollywood strikes have been going on for months, and the reasons studios won’t budge are varied, complex, but ultimately boil down to “Go fuck yourselves.”
Brian Robbins (Paramount CEO)
“If we don’t have the money to finish Optimus Prime’s character arc I’m going to kill myself.”
Kevin Feige (President of Marvel Studios)
“This has been a money laundering scheme from the jump and it’s too late to back out.”
Bela Bajaria (Netflix Executive)
“It’s honestly absurd to be demanding residual checks for a hobby.”
Bob Iger (Disney CEO)
“There’s an explosive device attached to my heart and if I make any less than $50,000 an hour it will detonate.”
David Zaslav (Warner Brothers CEO)
“Artists do their best work when they’re starving and clinically depressed, and I do my best work on a yacht in the Mediterranean pretending I can’t hear the screams of capsized refugees.”
Brett Ratner (Rat Pac Entertainment)
“The sweet spot is giving them just enough for new tits but not enough for a new attorney.”
Stacy Green (VP at Sony Pictures)
“If the studios are going to fail, let it be because we had no artistic vision, not because we paid people a living wage.”
James Murdoch (CEO of 21st Century Fox)
“Don’t you think it’s a little hypocritical we let humans write a thousand movies about AI but we can’t let one AI write a thousand movies about humans?”
Randy Lake (COO of Dreamworks)
“If actresses can get by on residual checks then what leverage do I have to get blowjobs from them?”
